The 15 Most Quotable Lines From Schitt's Creek

Many of us still haven't recovered from "Schitt's Creek" ending in 2020. Though the show is available to stream, the nearly two years since the finale have been tough. The show, which chronicled the misadventures of the formerly wealthy Rose family in the titular town of Schitt's Creek, was a warm, inviting story that combined humor and quirky characters with an earnest heart, and the promise that we can all become better people if we really try. The show was created by father-son duo Dan and Eugene Levy, and the sense of familial love permeates the entire series. Don't be mistaken though, it's not a saccharine family sitcom, either. Like the title implies, "Schitt's Creek" does not shy away from the messier aspects of life, family, or love. 

One of the best aspects of the show, aside from, well, all of it, is the whip-smart dialogue. From Moira's bizarre bits of wisdom and extensive vocabulary and Johnny's well-meaning but out-of-touch ideas, to David's dry humor and Alexis' love of catchphrases and eyebrow-raising anecdotes, "Schitt's Creek" has plenty of iconic quotes to offer. What better way to celebrate the show than to highlight some of the best of the best? Grab a glass of fruit wine or one of Twyla's infamous green smoothies, and let's get into some of the most quotable lines from the run of "Schitt's Creek." 

'I Like The Wine, Not The Label.'

"Schitt's Creek" has received a lot of praise and accolades for its portrayal of the LGBTQ community, particularly the wry pansexual David Rose (Dan Levy). After an unexpected tryst with his female friend, Stevie, she attempts to ask David about his sexuality while the two are shopping for a bottle of wine. Once David realizes what she is getting at, he explains his sexuality using a wine metaphor that many of us can employ the next time we try to explain our dating life to a confused relative. 

David does not just enjoy drinking red wine, or white wine, or just rosé. Instead, he is open to all varieties of wine that this world has to offer, in essence: "I like the wine, not the label." Not only is it a useful, simple way to explain one's sexuality via one of the best adult beverages out there, but it's a lovely example of the show's frank exploration of David's sexuality and identity.

'What You Did Was Impulsive, Capricious, And Melodramatic. But, It Was Also Wrong.'

Oh, Moira Rose. Where would this world be without her? We would certainly have far fewer wigs, statement hats, and absolutely iconic quotes in Catherine O'Hara's unique, perfectly absurd accent. There's just no one like Moira Rose, and no one else could handle the burden of being that fabulous. This gem, one of an infinite treasure trove of Moira-isms, comes from the first episode of Season 2, "Finding David." When David leaves town, and no one can find him, the family eventually tracks him to an Amish community several miles down the road. 

When the Roses reunite with their temporarily lost son, finding him crouching in a field like a gargoyle in a black cashmere sweater, Moira scolds him for his behavior. Though what he did was impulsive, capricious, and melodramatic, qualities that Moira can absolutely appreciate in a person, she has to emphasize that it was also the wrong thing to do. This line is a Moira Rose classic, a perfect glimpse at her character, the way she views the world, and her love for melodrama (when it doesn't inconvenience her). 

'I Didn't Go Missing, David. The FBI Knew Where I Was The Entire Time!'

Speaking of fabulous Rose women, Alexis Rose, portrayed by Annie Murphy, is a stone cold icon. From her perfectly shaped eyebrows to the tip of her designer shoes, Alexis is a bubbly, adorable delight who spends the course of the show learning how to mature and truly care for herself and others. Before she landed in Schitt's Creek, Alexis spent her time jetting around the globe and getting herself into some major trouble. Some of her stories are classic socialite fare, like swapping jewelry with Hollywood It Girls, but sometimes Alexis tosses out a casual comment that's downright jarring. 

This particular quote is one of the best little Alexis lines that implies that, in spite of her sometimes shallow demeanor, Alexis Rose has lived a hell of a life. After David points out that he's not the only one in his family to have gone missing before, Alexis takes umbrage with that claim and points out his mistake. The FBI knew where she was the entire time, David!!! Glad you made it back, Queen. 

'Where Is Bébé's Chamber?'

One of the most hilarious things about Moira Rose is her, shall we say, creative use of language. This delightful diva loves to drop an obscure vocabulary word, or place a foreign accent on a word when you would least expect it. A particularly fun example is the way Moira says the word "baby." There is no such thing as a baby in the Moira Rose world. No, no! Babies are for ordinary people. Moira is talking about "bébés."

In Season 5, after Jocelyn (Jennifer Robinson) gives birth to an infant son, Moira expresses interest in the newborn bébé, referring to him exclusively that way in every conversation. Jocelyn and Roland (Chris Elliott) don't really have much of a choice but to go with it. After five seasons of Moira doing what she does, they're pretty much used to it at this point. Though it's a simple line, and a simple word, there are few simple joys in this world like repeating "bébé" in your best Moira Rose voice. 

'A Little Bit Alexis!'

When we all started watching "Schitt's Creek," we had no idea that we would be introduced to one of the greatest pieces of music this world has ever known. I am of course referring to the theme song of Alexis Rose's short-lived reality television show, "A Little Bit Alexis." The reality show is mentioned a few times throughout the show, but in Season 5, Episode 8, we all finally got to hear the song itself when Alexis auditions for the town production of "Cabaret." 

Annie Murphy wrote the lyrics herself, so we really have her to thank for all of the incredible lines in this piece of pop music brilliance. It's tough to pick a favorite line from the song when there are options like "I'm a cute huge yacht," and "Hide your diamonds, hide your exes," or even the chorus of "la la la la la la la." But, there is one clear winner when it comes to quoting the song, and that's its refrain and title: "A little bit Alexis." Aren't we all, deep down, a little bit Alexis?

'Fold In The Cheese.'

Sometimes cooking can be tricky, especially when you haven't cooked a meal by yourself in 30 years. In Season 2, Episode 2, "Family Dinner," Moira and David are tasked with cooking dinner for the family after Moira claims that she can handle preparing a meal. They commandeer Jocelyn's kitchen and attempt to cook chicken enchiladas from an old recipe. Unfortunately, neither David nor Moira is a particularly adept chef, and the rising tensions result in one of the best scenes in the entire show. 

While referring to the recipe, David and Moira reach a step that they cannot make heads or tails of: "Fold in the cheese." Looking at the bowl of shredded cheese and the pot of bubbling liquid in front of him, David demands to know what that could possibly mean. How do you fold cheese? Where does it go? Fold it into what? The two yell back and forth about the cheese, threatening to boil over just like the pot of sauce they're trying to prepare. 

This scene even inspired food publication "Delish" to make a tutorial video teaching "Schitt's Creek" fans how they can fold in the cheese at home. "You just...fold it in!"

'I Don't Skate Through Life, David. I Walk Through Life In Really Nice Shoes.'

Having a way with words seems to run in the Rose family, and Alexis certainly takes after her mother when it comes to throwing out perfectly quotable nuggets of wisdom. In this Season 3 episode, David is struggling with anxiety around taking the driving test, and Alexis attempts to get him to relax and get out of his own way. When David is attempting to call Alexis out for navigating life in an effortless way, she chimes in to correct him. She doesn't skate, she walks through life, in really nice shoes. 

The quote is simple, funny, and oh so Alexis, and it indirectly provides a little bit of philosophy we can all take with us (and print on our novelty coffee mugs). None of us should skate through life or race through it, if we can help it. We should follow Alexis' lead and walk through it in whatever nice shoes we can find. We're more likely to enjoy it that way. 

'Gossip Is The Devil's Telephone. Best To Just Hang Up!'

I don't know about you, but I could listen to Catherine O'Hara talk as Moira Rose all day, every day. I can't imagine ever getting tired of her elegance, her quirky mannerisms, or her theatrical manner of speech. My idea of a perfect world is one where Moira Rose walks around with me all day, offering input on the world around me and giving me wonderfully bizarre advice and pep talks. Maybe I'd eventually get tired of it, but sadly I'll never find out for sure. 

One incredible little piece of advice straight from Moira's statement-lipsticked lips is her stance on gossip. It's the devil's telephone, best to just hang up! Of course, Moira indulges in plenty of gossip herself, but that doesn't stop her from firing off a pithy slogan on it anyway. And you know she didn't get that from a bumper sticker or anything, that came straight from her brilliant mind. 

'Fear Not, She Hath Risen!'

Moira and drama are like a fish and water. She doesn't just need it to survive, she swims in it, she lives in it, she thrives in it. And there is nothing more dramatic than a news outlet falsely reporting your death, leading to droves of misled mourners celebrating your memory, sending flowers, gifts, and condolences in your honor. In Season 4, Episode 5, "RIP Moira Rose," Moira learns of an online rumor claiming that she is dead. 

Once her family's initial panic has been assuaged, Moira leans in and enjoys the posthumous spotlight until the attention begins to fade. Online virality is fickle, she finds, and so in order to get her name in the public conversation again, she plans to stage her reappearance and announce that she is, in fact, alive. She floats into her regular a cappella singing group, the Jazzagals, practice in a white dress, sweeps her arms wide, and proclaims the good news to all: "She hath risen." 

'Let's Not Count Our Poultry Before It's Incubated.'

Something all of Moira's devoted fans understand is that she never does anything the conventional way. Moira doesn't just come at things like an average person! From her clothes and her massive wig collection to her larger-than-life response to strong emotions, everything with Moira is bigger (and, in my opinion, better). 

Even when she's giving motherly advice, Moira makes it all her own. When encouraging Alexis not to get ahead of herself, Moira warns her that they should not "count our poultry before it's incubated." Another classic bit of Moira wisdom, this quote takes the classic warning, "Don't count your chickens before they hatch," and gives it that extra bit of Moira Rose flair. We're not just talking about chickens, here. They could be ducks, quail, pheasants, geese, any kind of bird you imagine. Just don't count it before its eggs are incubated and ready to hatch! 

'Tweet Us On Facebook!'

Often relegated to the role of the comedic straight man amongst their larger-than-life personalities, Johnny Rose (Eugene Levy) may not be as quotable as the other members of his family, but he still gets some pretty great lines from time to time. Johnny is a man with a good heart who loves his wife and his children, and usually has the best intentions in mind, but he's not always the most aware of the world at large. 

Like many of our dads, Johnny struggles with technology. While trying to help market the Rosebud Motel and bring it into the 21st century, Johnny has difficulty with incorporating technology and social media into his approach. He inadvertently prints a full URL on his custom coasters, for example. Even before the coaster misprint, though, they were probably doomed. When pitching his family on the idea, Johnny gives an example of what one of the coasters might say, and it's something that's not just an out-of-touch thing to say, but an impossible thing to do. Sorry Johnny, no one can tweet you on Facebook. But you're adorable, and we love you. 

'You Get Murdered First For Once!'

This particular quote is from the pilot episode of the show when the Rose family is not adjusting well to their new lives in Schitt's Creek. This is especially true of David and Alexis who were pulled from their own independent lives and thrown into a single motel suite with their parents, sharing a bedroom for the first time in their lives. While fighting over where they're going to sleep, Alexis and David bicker about who gets the bed closest to the door. This spot would put whoever sleeps in it in more danger of getting murdered since the killer would naturally target the closest potential victim first. That's just how motel room murderers work, you know! 

Alexis wants the bed farther away from the door, and after arguing about it, finally snaps and says that she is going to take it. As she grabs her things and moves them to the bed, she yells, "You know what, David? You get murdered first, for once." And that's how you stand up for yourself!

'What Does Burning Smell Like?!?!'

Maybe using two quotes from the same scene is cheating, but it's a perfect scene and also you can't stop me. We return to the scene of the chicken enchilada crime as David and Moira engage in an epic culinary struggle for the ages. 

"Fold in the cheese" is an iconic quote from this scene, but it's not the only great moment. There is also the incredible exchange between Moira and David when she says, "I cannot teach you everything!" and he fires back, "Can you teach me one thing?!" My other favorite bit from this scene is Moira's absolute terror as the sauce they are cooking begins to bubble in its pot. You know, the thing that hot liquid does when you cook it in a pot on a stove? In her usual high-strung way, Moira does not take to this development well, and she cries out like a tragic Shakespearean heroine, "David! What does burning smell like?!?!" It's the perfect quote for any cooking mishap. 

'Love That Journey For Me.'

So many Alexis quotes should be stitched on cute floral throw pillows — and that's a compliment. She holds a lot of brilliant thoughts in that impeccably-styled head of hers. One of her frequent sayings in response to new developments in her post-New York life is the optimistic, "Love that journey for me!" 

Not only is this a fun line and such a blast to quote, but it's wonderfully representative of Alexis' character as a whole. From the pilot to the show's finale, Alexis Rose goes on quite a journey as a person. She starts the show shallow and selfish. She's not evil or malicious but rather deeply self-centered and bad at any kind of introspection. As the show goes on, she faces some harsh truths about herself, the world she lives in now, and the world she left behind. Alexis retains her sense of fun and her playfulness, but she also learns to respect the needs of others, to work hard, and to evaluate her place in the world. It's honestly hard not to be proud of her. Love that journey for you, Alexis. And love that journey for us, getting to watch. 

'Ew, David!'

Alexis Rose truly is the queen of quotable catchphrases, and there is no quote more associated with "Schitt's Creek" than this one. There's just no competing with the best. Alexis tends to use this phrase whenever David says something particularly objectionable, and it never gets old. Fans of the show are so devoted to the phrase that there are compilation videos dedicated to every time Alexis utters it onscreen. Though Alexis' character is more than just her most notable quotable, there is really nothing quite like seeing Annie Murphy fire off a well-timed "Ew, David!"

"Ew, David!" can be used in truly any situation, whether or not you're actually talking to someone named David. Use it as an expression of frustration, horror, joy, disdain, or any of the dozens of strong emotions life can throw at you. Out of all of the quotes on this list, this is the one that you can truly carry with you forever. It's more than just a quote. It's a lifestyle. 

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